Closure and a New Beginning

Back in Iona, the magical island in west Scotland. I started my spiritual journey here, at the end of February 2016. I came back in December 2016, for closure. In between I traveled, meditated, connected to different qualities of land in Glastonbury, Jerusalem, Armageddon (it's a place in Israel...) and the Sea of Galilee. I returned to the garden in Findhorn during September, same garden, same old house.

Back in my old familiar place, taking responsibility for "my" old gardens, but from a different place within me. I am different, Findhorn is different, and landing is not easy. Great familiar happiness, a sense of coming home, but Findhorn is never static, people left, new people came, the garden team shrank (we managed to lose all our British gardeners, no one to teach us  all these funny words that exist only in British English...).

For some reason I cannot ground myself. It's a bit strange for a gardener that works with the soil daily, but I feel a gap between head and heart, between physical work, energy oriented towards the ground, and  my other parts that seem to go all over the place. In addition, I had to focalise (manage...) the department for a month when all I wanted to do was go deep into the earth and be with myself after months of wondering around. I go through a severe cold, a sprained ankle, I count to 10 before I open my mouth and feel that I'm about to explode.  

So I came to Iona, to Findhorn's retreat house for 10 days, and since my ankle is still weak and there is a strong cold wind outside, I am forced to stay put and grounded. Lots of meditations and deep sleep. Just being.

The Solstice is in a week, the shortest  day of the year or the longest night, depends how you look at it. On 21.12 the sun is starting to come back and the energetic seeds are sown into us. If we attune deeply, connect to their potential, these seeds will explode in spring, in a celebration of creativity. In Findhorn, we walk the spiral in order to start this movement towards the New Year. 

We, the gardeners, are collecting green branches and red berries in order to build a big spiral in the Universal Hall. Creating the actual spiral is a morning of celebration with many volunteers. I am starting to release 2016 a few days before, forgiving myself for bad decisions and congratulating myself on a job well done (more congratulating than forgiving to be honest...)  

People walk the spiral during the day, even in the middle of the night. A slow walk towards the center, releasing the old, lighting a small candle in the center and starting to walk out. At the exit we pick an angel card. The angel for the year represents a quality that will guide the New Year's experiences.

Last December, when I picked the angel of Strength, I did not imagine such a dramatic change a month later, a long journey, the need to choose whether to come back or move on. I called this angel for help, found myself led with almost no free choice. I kept "hearing" that I need to go back from a different place on my personal spiral of development, but what were the chances that my staff position in the garden, my house and "my" gardens would be available, waiting for me to resume my work? 

The week on Iona is dedicated (besides eating, sleeping and doing jigsaw puzzles...) to releasing the previous year. I gladly release the angel of Strength, will be happy to receive the angel of Relaxation or Celebration but something tells me that it won't be that easy...

I am trying to connect to new seeds, to see what changed in me, to understand what brought me to choose the garden again, in winter...there were several other roles that I could have applied for, nothing felt right. First images: infrastructure, hands in the ground (in spring...), creating a physical change, bringing energetic change, supporting the huge change that Findhorn is going through, mini earthquake. A generation change, a new one that takes us to new directions, and the crucial need not to lose the base, to deepen our lives according to the three core principles: inner listening, co-creation with nature and service to the world. And do all that with a lot of laughter and joy, not too seriously.

Solstice night, walked the spiral. My angel for this year is Synthesis. He is all about using creativity and sensitivity to blend all diverse parts into a unified whole. I have a year to figure it out... 

Happy New Year!