Attunement

We are standing on ladders, pruning apple trees. It takes time to enter a "pruning state". No matter how much I read about it, it doesn't land. Standing in front of the tree, I usually enter a catatonic state, no idea where to start. The way to deal with it is to go into attunement, inner listening.  I close my eyes, ignore the environment, balance my heart bit with  the tree's bit. When I am really focused, provided we are not close to tea break (10.30 am, 3.30 pm...) and I don't attune to cookies, I am able to "read" the tree, my hand moves with no thought, and the magic happens.  

Attunement serves us when the department needs to take difficult decisions. The teams are changing frequently and every department has a small number of permanent staff, apprentices that come for a few months and might become staff, and many guests that come for a week or for months. Everybody go through the same long path from guest to staff. It is a challenging path of apprenticeship, of living together in community, loads of satisfaction and creativity. Therefore when it's time to accept a new member to the team, we approach it very seriously, and with open heart. We've been there.

It's not easy to say no when someone responds to an inner call to serve, to take care of this magical place. Findhorn attracts many people from all over the world and it is a privilege to become one of its carers. Is it enough that an apprentice is a good devoted worker? Good with guests? We need gardeners, the season is starting soon. I know what we are facing in terms of gardening and holding guests. Every day is a mini workshop. More gardeners will enable us to take some vacation time. Yet, something doesn’t work and I can't put my finger on it.

Findhorn has a very strong energy field. Emotional baggage is released to the ether, as our guests allow themselves to let go, our own emotional/spiritual baggage circling around. The energy flow within the team is very important, the non verbal support, the ability to let go, relax, knowing that others are there for me. Every Wednesday afternoon we meet for meditation and sharing, instant psychological therapy. I unloaded buckets of emotions from my deepest spaces during this quality time, knowing that the stage is mine and nobody will give unwanted feedback. There will be listening, total support and confidentiality. The sacred space of sharing will be kept sacred. It takes time to develop this space of total trust.

The head is very much aware of the need for more  gardeners, the heart finds it difficult to say no without a "justified " reason, but there is an inner feeling that it doesn't work.

Attunement  - we gather for a guided meditation. Our focaliser (the one who holds the team and the focus of the garden) guides us to the dimension of thoughts and feelings. The pictures are flying in front of me and I am deep in conversation between me, I and myself. Part of me watches the proceedings from a detached space.  Later we are asked to go deeper, to allow a deeper voice to emerge, to look at the bigger picture, beyond our department, to receive clarity regarding the higher good for all of us.

It seems that the effort of living together takes a lot of energy that can be directed to creativity and growth. Instead, we are diminishing ourselves, tip towing. Our apprentice has a big strong lovable personality, charisma and great skills. The effort it takes to diminish herself in order to fit in, the effort we make to let her be herself, will eventually bring unnecessary stress and bitterness. I prefer a bed with different plants that co-exist in harmony then one spectacular plant that others can't grow next to.

We share, it seems that all five team members received the same message. There are tears, there is pain, I feel acid in my stomach, but there is also a feeling of acceptance, of a pure, compassionate process. Our apprentice chooses to work with us for a few more days. There is bitterness but I don't feel that it is directed towards us. I feel purity and expansiveness. If we tried to explain verbally, we would have ended with blame and defensiveness. Some situations are beyond words and a deeper space should make the decision.

This process of decision making that allows a deeper voice to take charge, is purifying and releasing all stress. Let go, surrender with faith that whatever comes is for the good of all. I made the most crucial life decisions this way (after talking myself to death with an overly active mind...). I don't remember any regrets. There is no right or wrong here, just an ever changing point of equilibrium, while we look for the next step forward.

During our internal conference, we picked the Findhorn Foundation angel for 2017: The angel of Relaxation. Kathy Tyler, who led us through a day of silence and a process called Sacred Chambers, pointed out that this does not mean a year in a coma....relaxation means allowing ourselves to be processed rather than actively process.

Surrender...attunement....and garden....

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Co – Creation with Nature

Iona. We are collecting seaweeds on the beach and spread it in the garden. The seaweeds will sink into the soil and nourish it with goodies all through winter, preparing it for planting in the spring. The weather is surprisingly good (middle of December…) and we want to give back to the house and the people who take care of it, for the pampering and the warmth that engulfs us. 

While working in the garden, I am trying to "feel" it, to befriend the "locals", plants and unseen beings. This garden is a stranger to me, I feel like a guest here. It takes time to become friends, understand the behaviors, wishes and will of the regular residents and co- creators.

After two years, 2 cycles of 4 seasons, I know my garden in Findhorn like I know myself. At times we reflect each other. Sometimes during the years, I learned to look the plants and trees in the eye (thank you Findhorn !). It is easier with animals, they respond with emotion that we can decipher. When we talk to a plant we need to dive deeper, use imagination and release the feeing that it is ridiculous and a waste of time. The next stage is to work with the plant's spirit and nature spirits to bring change. I am focused on creating "healing pockets", soothing energy from the ground that invites us to let go, to feel safe. This kind of work became very tangible to me, almost physical, clear as the use of my other 5 senses.  

Co – creation with nature is one of the 3 core principles that built Findhorn. Last winter, in a series of meetings within the Foundation, I realized how unclear this principle is to people who are not gardeners. The 2 other principles, inner listening and service to the world, are usually what bring people to live here, but for many who do not work with nature on a daily basis, the concept of talking to nature eye to eye doesn't land. Last winter a decision was made to widen this principle to "co – creation with all forms of life". I know that this is the result of meditations and attunements, but it doesn't resonate with me. It is too abstract, too wide. Whether we have the right to change our core principles is another discussion.

This magical place was built on the basis of 3 core principles. The world is full with communities, learning centers, places that live the principles of inner listening and service to the world. I never saw a place that brought co-creation with nature to such heights. The work that was done here made Findhorn famous around the world (lots of books on the subject). Over the years, this principle lost its center role within the community. The many guests that visit us are very interested to hear about this particular work. 

Co – creation with nature is what brought me year after year to Findhorn, and I came to garden here in order to live it on a daily basis. I had a strong feeling that if we can open "healing pockets " in my country, we will eventually be nourished by the land and stop the cycles of violence. I didn't think for a moment that it will happen in my life time, but you need to start somewhere. I am not an expert, you cannot be an expert on a personal experience, different for each person. I don't know how to teach it, but I hope that by writing about my experiences, I will open for others a door to this magical rich world. 

10 days in Iona bring clarity regarding my place in the cauldron called Findhorn. I want to bring co- creation with nature to the center. I want to bring back the magic. Magic is an action through which we create change, with love and minimum chaos. Every action creates a response on the energetic web (butterfly affect…).  A ground/land related action is very potent and we need to approach it with an open,  pure heart. The unseen partners are ready and waiting for us to ask for support.

How do we do it? that remains to be seen. When? Now…..